There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the Light. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down. And saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device... A vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one. She went completely ballistic. "You impotent bastard," She screamed at him, "how could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!" The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: "I'll explain the toy... You explain the kids."
Morris returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live. Given the prognosis, Morris asks his wife for sex. Naturally, she agrees, so they make love. About 6 hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says, "Honey, you know I now have only 18 hours to live. Could we please do it one more time?" Of course, the wife agrees, and they do it again. Later, as the man gets into bed, he looks at his watch and realizes that he now has only 8 hours left. He touches his wife's shoulder and asks, "Honey, please...just one more time before I die." She says, "Of course, Dear," and they make love for the third time. After this session, the wife rolls over and falls to sleep. Morris, however, worried about his impending death, tosses and turns, until he's down to 4 more hours. He taps his wife, who rouses. "Honey, I have only 4 more hours. Do you think we could..." At this point the wife sits up and says, "Listen Morris, I have to get up in the morning... you don't."
There was this little boy about 12 years old walking down the street dragging a flattened frog on a string behind him. He came to a house of ill repute, and knocked on the door. When the Madam answered it, she saw the little boy and asked what he wanted. He said, "I want to have sex with one of the women inside. I have the money to buy it, and I'm not leaving until I get it." The Madam figured, what the hell, so she told him to come in. Once in, she told him to pick any of the girls he liked. He said, "I heard all the men talking about having to get shots after making love with Belinda. THAT'S the girl I want." Since the little boy was so adamant and had the money to pay for it, the Madam told him to go to the first room on the right. He headed down the hall, dragging the quashed frog behind him.Ten minutes later he came back, still dragging the frog, paid the Madam, and headed out the door. The Madam stopped him and asked, "Why did you pick the only girl in the place with a disease, instead of one of the others?" He said, "Well, tonight when I get home, my parents are going out to a restaurant to eat, leaving me at home with a baby-sitter. After they leave, my baby-sitter will have sex with me because she's very fond of cute little boys. She will then get the disease that I just caught.When Mom and Dad get back, Dad will take the baby-sitter home. On the way, he'll jump the baby-sitter's bones, and he'll catch the disease. Then when Dad gets home from the baby-sitter's,he and Mom will go to bed and have sex,and Mom will catch it. In the morning when Dad goes to work, the milkman will deliver the milk, have a quickie with Mom, and catch the disease, and HE'S the son-of-a-bitch that ran over my frog!"
One January afternoon a flea oiled up his little flea legs and his little flea arms, spread out his blanket, and was proceeding to soak up the Miami sun when who should stumble by on the beach but an old flea friend of his. "Oscar, what happened to you?" asked the flea, because Oscar looked terrible, wrapped up in a blanket, his nose running, his eyes red, and his teeth chattering. "I got a ride down here from Michigan in some guy's mustache and he came down by motorcycle. I nearly froze my nuts off," wheezed Oscar. "Let me give you a tip, old pal," said the first flea, spreading some more suntan oil on his shoulders. "Next time just go to the stewardess lounge at the airport, see, and you get up on the toilet seat, and when an Air Florida stewardess comes in to take a leak, you hop on for a nice warm ride. Got it?" So you can imagine the flea's surprise when, the following January while stretched out all warm and comfortable on the beach, who should he see but Oscar - looking more chilled and miserable than before. "Listen," said Oscar, "I did everything you said. I made it to the stewardess lounge and waited till a really cute one came in, and made a perfect landing and got so warm and cozy that I dozed right off." "And so?" asked the first flea. "So the next thing I know, I'm on this guy's mustache again!"
A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone." "No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?" His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist and he told me to stand in front of a mirror, Stare at myself and repeat, I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache... Well, it worked! The headaches are all gone." "Well, that is wonderful," proclaims the husband. His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years, why don't you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?" Reluctantly, the husband agrees to try it. Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom. He puts her on the bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back." He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before. His wife says, "WOW! - that was wonderful!" \ The husband says, "Don't move! I will be right back." He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time. The wife sits up and her head is spinning "OH MY GOSH," She proclaims. Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back." With that, he goes back in the bathroom. This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and saying: "She's not my wife, She's not my wife, She's not my wife, She's not my wife..." His funeral service will be held on Saturday.
Free video chat meeting room conference. Use Free video conference software, make conference call video / audio. Live room chat Voice comunication with free audio / video chat.
Online webcode Editor
Paste & Share Code
Videos
Horoscop
Last News Finder
ANVOS-SERVICE SRL
Blog de Fizica
Websites Development
SEO Dashboard Tools
Get Ip Information
Minichat script code
Online Counters
Website Worth
Free Backlinks
Free Star Rating API
The Code Of this site is Copyrighted © and Registered ®. The owner of code of this System is "Sergiu Gordienco Vasile", the rights are protected by Law. If you are interested by this, contact him on astraluxkl@gmail.com or send SMS on: (+373) 78310479
We are glad to discuss your purpose sincerely GenerationUnion Support Team astraluxkl2@gmail.com.
511 » Best and Different
